Category: Family

When it comes to having a baby there is so much to think about.

There were so many things that I wanted to make sure happened when we got to the hospital… then I had my first contraction and I changed my entire plan (not mad about it).

Here is an example of my original birth plan to help you think through everything you want the doctors to know when you have your baby!

Overview of My Birth Preferences

Parent #1 Name – Birthday

Parent #2 Name – Birthday

Due Date: X/X/XXXX

Significant Other’s and I look forward to welcoming our little one at Hospital Name.

We desire labor and delivery as free from medical intervention as possible.

We respectfully request the staff take the following actions, assuming no major emergencies arise.

The safety of our baby is our biggest priority and we will be flexible in our methods. If a problem arises, please inform us along with providing each possible next step and pros/cons so that we can make an informed decision.

Additionally, what mom says goes, she has the right to change her mind at any point in time without an argument assuming no one’s safety is put at risk.

LABOR & DELIVERY

Preferences:

• No cell phones allowed in the room
  • We will have one camera/video camera to capture all of the special moments.
  • Mom will handle taking some of the photos during delivery (no photos of delivery without mom’s consent).
  • We would like to record the delivery with a camera on a tripod if possible.
• Please allow for a quiet environment, Mom is in control of the music and television (if any).
• Lighting should be kept to a comfortable level (avoiding bright lights if possible to provide for a relaxing environment).
• I would like the freedom to move around.
  • I do not believe that the human body is meant (or shaped) in an optimal way for the entire birthing process to take place lying horizontally in a hospital bed. Please allow the use of distraction techniques such as a birthing ball, shower/tub, etc.
• Food and water are preferred over an IV.
  • I can guarantee I will want a lot of crushed ice.
• Would like water to break naturally.
• Please coach me when it comes to pushing but if I ask you to stop, please give me a little space (I get angry when I don’t feel like people are listening to me but if you give me a minute to cool off I will be fine).
• I would like to use a mirror to see the baby’s head and be able to touch it (maybe even pull the baby out if I am up to it).
• Avoid Tearing & Pain
  • Avoid tearing if at all possible.
  • Please numb the area if you have to put in stitches after delivery.
• Comfortable with fetal monitoring.

I would like to avoid:

• Pain medication (if I ask for pain medication please reassure me that everything is okay and that I can do this).
  • Note: Exception of topical numbing.
• Epidural (but let me know when it’s close to the point where it can’t be administered to make a final decision).
• Episiotomy.
• Vacuuming/forceps to remove the baby.
• C-Section

 In the Room During Labor & Delivery:

• Dad (depending on how I am feeling there may be times when I need my space and ask him to leave the room for a while).
• My mom, sister, and dad (however I may ask that they leave if I get uncomfortable, I have a feeling I am going to want to be alone during a large portion of this – most likely I will want my mom to ask advice and quick visits from the rest of my family).

In the Room Post Delivery:

• We would like at least an hour alone with the baby.
• After the first hour, visitors are welcome for short increments of time, but no extended visits.

Notes:

• Typically I am a pretty serious person and when I am scared or in pain, jokes make me mad because I feel like people are making light of a serious situation. Just forewarning everyone. 

NEWBORN CARE

• All medical procedures should be explained to the parents before being performed.
• Please delay routine procedures for an hour to allow us to bond with the baby.
• It’s fine if you:
  • Asses the baby
  • Circumcision
  • Vitamin shot if needed
  • Put bracelets on
• Baby should remain in the room at all times as opposed to going to the nursery.
• Should an emergency arise, dad will need to remain with the baby at all times – the baby does NOT leave his side.
• Request immediate skin-to-skin contact.
• Please let mom hold the baby first.
• Immediate breastfeeding (hope is that we can exclusively breastfeed).
• No bottles, pacifiers, artificial nipples to be provided.
• Once vernix has absorbed into the skin, you can then wash the baby and immediately give them back to the parents.
• Delayed cord clamping by 2-5 minutes.
• Dad will not cut the cord.
• We will not be saving or donating cord blood.
• Vaccines approved/not approved as follows:
  • Would like to discuss each shot prior to them being administered.

Post Birth Care for Mom

• I would like to meet with a lactation consultant who has kids that she has breastfed.

I needed to know that I MIGHT be okay. I could do this.

I’m a list person. When I panic I make lists.

So here is my list of why I MIGHT make a good boy mom. I’m sure that looking back in 5 years none of these things will be what really mattered but right now it’s helping me realize I can do this.

• I know more about WWE than my husband
• I love UFC
• Superhero capes are easy to sew. Just a square with a logo and an elastic band.
• My husband likes me and he’s a boy.
• My dad likes me and he’s a boy.
• I have seen all the Marvel and DC
• I can play FIFA and occasionally beat my husband (and he’s pretty good).
• I know how to use power tools better than my husband.

So… looking at this list I MIGHT actually be a pretty cool boy mom. Only time will tell!!

I want to share this crazy ride I am going on with you. Many people have traveled this road in the past. I know I’m not the first.

There were so many things that ran through my head when I found out I was going to be a boy mom and so many things I felt guilty about feeling or thinking.

When I get nervous I Google things (I know…bad idea) but reading other people’s stories helps me deal with stuff.

It was hard for me to find solid advice on becoming a first-time boy mom.

Nothing I say is meant in a mean way or sexist way. It’s just things that crossed my mind and I’m sure to cross other first-time boy mom’s minds.

Now… it’s my obsession to make sure I am the best boy mom out there and to help all the other boy moms find the resources they need to raise kind, honest, hardworking boys into manly little men.

Here’s how it went down…

This will be our first I said. I looked at my husband and smiled.

The ultrasound technician wiggled the remote control thing over my belly and paused on the “potty shot”.

That’s a penis. She typed on the computer screen in all caps with two exclamation points “IT’S A BOY!!”.

I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

Everyone told me it was a girl and I had prayed it would be.

I LITERALLY know NOTHING about raising boys. NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.

HOW DID I GET HERE???????

We both made our predictions before going to the doctor. I said “boy” but mostly because I wanted to be able to tell my little girl, “I thought you were a boy but I was wrong…it’s just because you were so strong”.

I looked at my husband and held back terrified tears and asked if he was excited.

Dummy. Look at him. He’s elated. Why are you asking if he’s excited? He just found out he has a full-time buddy – and you are…alone.

Growing up, I always told everyone I wanted “6 boys. I want to coach my own little league team.”

Mostly, because I always wanted to be different and I hated being like everyone else.

Then I met my husband and something changed. I just wanted a baby girl. He would be the perfect little girl dad. It honestly never crossed my mind that we would ever have a little boy. NEVER.

I even told my little sister that if I had a boy I would “toss him back into the ocean” – I was totally joking, don’t call CPS.

All the little kids I had been around had been girls. I liked girl things.

I sewed. TuTu’s, Fairytale princess bibs, Tiny Dressed. Basically, anything with glitter.

I didn’t know how to entertain little kids except for girls.

My go-to babysitting routine – blanket pile, lots of pillows, excessive amounts of sugar, a few quarters to bribe them with, My Little Pony Movie, nail polish, and a craft that involved lots of glitter (you bet their parents always LOVED coming home).

We drove home from the ultrasound and for the rest of the day, I could barely talk. I was mad. I was sad. I was shocked.

I knew letting words out of my mouth would lead to tears.

My world was spiraling.

It’s just a baby. A little person. It doesn’t matter the gender. You know you are going to love it either way. And I would. I just didn’t know HOW.

How can I possibly be a good boy mom?

Update: I’m a REALLY FREAKING GOOD BOY MOM!